We we’re excited you’ll be with us to celebrate our wedding — not simply as a guest, but as a participant in our love-fest-ritual-retreat-extravaganza. On this site you’ll find the information you’ll need to prepare for the event. We’ll be updating the site with more information as the planning continues, so watch this space.
We are so excited to celebrate with you!
WHY WE GATHER
Vizza family gathering, Cannavina, Italy, 2018
From the beginning of our relationship, we wanted to make home together—not only as a place to live, but a place that would invite connection with our broader community. Over the last nine years, we have worked to create just such a place at our home in Mid City, Los Angeles.
In our garden we grow food like our elders did, with fruit trees named after our ancestors. We gather friends, family, and neighbors at a table that was passed down by Shaleece’s grandparents. We make spaces for our loved ones to celebrate birthdays and personal triumphs; grieve losses and heartbreak; participate in rituals; talk dreams and politics and philosophy and movies; sleep over when needed; and always have a safe place to land.
We’re incredibly fortunate to have a home, and to be able to gather people here. But so many of you—our beloved ones—live far away. And it would be impossible to fit you all in our house for extended time together. So we decided to combine our nuptials with a 3-day retreat where we can weave the web of community on a larger scale.
This gathering will not only center a queer marriage ritual. It will integrate the traditions we choose to carry forward from our own lineages (and leave aside the wedding trappings that don’t reflect our values). And it will offer the time and space to deepen connections with and between all of you.
(Thanks to Priya Parker and The Art of Gathering for helping us clarify our gathering’s purpose)
THIS IS A QUEER WEDDING
We are grateful to be part of a vibrant, loving community of queer and trans people (and allies).
Our wedding will bring together traditions from our ancestors, and will integrate new rituals to celebrate queer love. Our gathering will also honor the community organizing and legal fights led by queer and trans people over many decades that have expanded LGBTQ+ rights (including marriage equality). There will be people of all sexualities and genders at our gathering. We ask our straight family and friends to respect some basic principles of queer spaces:
Please don't assume anyone's pronouns. It’s OK to ask someone what pronouns they use.
All of the bathrooms at Whispertree are gender neutral. Everyone is welcome to use whatever bathroom they please.
We ask that if you would be happy to celebrate the two of us, but you generally oppose human rights for queer and trans people, please decline this invitation.
(Thank you to Lex & Emma for setting the precedent)
LOGISTICS
SCHEDULE
Thursday, June 13 (4pm) — Sunday, June 16 (11am)
The wedding ritual, celebration meal, dancing, etc. will take place on Saturday, June 15. On Thursday and Friday there will be a combination of scheduled events and unscheduled time to soak in the hot tub, play lawn games, hike the local trails, swim in the pond, or take a goat tour with Ruthie the shepherd.
We hope you will be able to join us for the entire event, but if that’s not possible for whatever reason, please let us know.
LOCATION
Whispertree Retreat Center — 12378 Boonville Rd., Boonville, CA 95415
Whispertree is located 2.5 hours north of San Francisco and approximately
1 hour inland from the Mendocino Coast. The site is a 640-acre land preserve and retreat center makes up a sub-watershed of the Navarro River, and includes miles of trails and expansive views of Anderson Valley.
TRAVEL
AIRPORTS:
The closest airports are SFO (2 hr, 30 mins away), OAK (2 hr, 20 mins away), and STS Charles Shultz Airport (yes, that Charles Schultz, the creator of Peanuts) ( 1 hr, 10 mins away).
CARPOOLING
For those who would like to carpool to Whispertree (either from the airport or from other parts of California), we encourage you to coordinate using this Travel Bulletin Board spreadsheet.
ATTIRE
June can be a finicky month in northern California. It could be hot, cool, rainy, or all of the above during our time together. Boonville is inland, so it tends to be drier and warmer than the coastal areas. We’ll send weather updates as the date approaches, but as a general rule, you’ll want to pack for warm days and cool nights.
Retreat Time
For the majority of our time together, you'll want to dress comfortably, with options for both warm and cool weather. Typical June temps in Boonville are high 70s/low 80s during the day; low 50s at night. Bring good walking shoes. And if you plan to swim in the pond or go in the hot tub, bring a bathing suit. We'll have towels for you at the venue. There will be yoga every morning, so if you plan to join, bring comfortable clothing you can be flexible in.
Wedding Ceremony
Feel free to dress up in whatever way makes you feel good. We'll be surrounded by big beautiful trees and rolling hills. The paths to the ceremony site are not paved, so you'll want to avoid pointy heels. There's no need for formal attire (unless that makes you feel extra-awesome), but feel free to express your joy and celebration through your outfit if that's how you roll.
Dance Party
If you're in the mood, we're inviting folks to make an OPTIONAL costume change (or just a slight costume addition) for the dance party. If you have something covered in sequins, sparkles, or other fabulous bling that you can dance in, feel free to bring it all to the dance floor. Whether you're feeling full-on-disco-ball-sparkle-diva or just a little shimmery accent, it's all welcome.
LODGING
To accommodate a group of our size, there will be both on-site and off-site lodging. All Whispertree accommodations are super comfy and beautifully designed.
You can get a sense of the on-site lodging in the photos HERE.
For folks staying off-site, there’s a range of accommodations at various price points, all within a 10-20 min drive from Whispertree.
MEALS
Food is our love language. And we’re excited to share meals with all of you over the course of our gathering.
We’re delighted to be working with the the extraordinary Caroline Radice of Black Dog Farm, who will be catering our wedding meal (and growing much of the food we’ll eat during the weekend).
All meals from Thursday dinner through Sunday brunch will be hosted on-site. Other than the celebration meal on Saturday, our meals will be a combination of nourishing catered meals and easy breakfasts we’ll assemble as a group.
We will have food to meet all your dietary needs, but if there’s anything specific you can’t live without (e.g. a particular brand of coffee, your favorite late-night snack), feel free to bring it with you.
AMBASSADORS
One of the things we’re most excited about is co-creating a magical gathering with all of you. Over the course of the event, there will be opportunities to contribute to the collective in many ways—from prepping breakfasts or lunches, to making sure everyone gets out on the dance floor, to leading a game of bocce for the uninitiated.
We’re calling these roles ambassadorships, and we’ll invite each of you to become an ambassador of something before or during the gathering.
A few of the ambassadorships that have already been filled include: Cousin Melissa, who will be leading yoga practice in the fancy yurt each morning; Steak, who will be serving as “flotation captain” and making sure everyone has what they need to enjoy themselves in the swimming pond; and Genna, who will be creating dried flower garlands for our ceremony site.
In the spring, we’ll invite you to opt-in to one or more ambassador roles for the gathering. There will also be an opportunity to dream up your own role, so if there’s something you’re especially excited to contribute to the gathering, let us know!
